Nothing Secedes Like Success!

[taste_is_sweet]

I finished my new novel yesterday. I put in the last edits, made sure the title page had the right info on it, and sent that sucker off. Hopefully to engender a six-figure bidding war between famous publishers before it gets snapped up by Joss Whedon.

My immediate future. Of course.

So, with the work finished and my wealth and fortune completely assured, you'd think that I'd be happy, wouldn't you? Well, so would I! Except for how I'm not.

Nope. Pretty much everything made me cry this morning. Nothing like trying to sing along to your MP3 player and getting choked up by songs that have nothing to do with your life.

The sad (sadder?) thing is, I know it's because the novel's finished. This has happened to me before. What should be an occasion for enthusiastic relief, or at least relief and alcohol, instead ends up giving me the blues for days. Because obviously, if I'm not working on something then I'm a useless human being, right? Not to mention that once the novel's been sent out into the big, bad world, there's a huge, enormous chance that no one will like it. And if no one likes my writing, then I'm a useless human being.

Wash, rinse, repeat ad nauseam.

So here I am, moping 'cause I've got something accomplished. Go, me. And now I get to add terror to misery by starting something else that maybe no one will like either.

Writing: It's not a job, it's a (completely self-imposed) torment! And yet I keep doing it anyway.

Isn't one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result?

Comments

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! \o/

*squishes you* I think it's perfectly understandable that you'd feel this way. In some very odd ways a novel is like a writer's kid and every parent gets a bit down when they finally leave home.

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

Oh, I feel ya, I feel ya! My due South co-writer and I were zined about a month ago (and yay for the fandom that JUST KEEPS GOING -- there hasn't been a dS zine in ten years and now THIS). Well, she and I both felt like POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION for a bit after that.

And your equating of writing with "the insanity repetition". Truth!

And along with all that : congrats and hugs for another novel from you!

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

I consider this post-partum depression and I don't think it is that unusual at all. It always leaves me depressed and restless, unable to settle to one project and yet not ready to pick up another one either. I'm learning to try and pick up something more quickly but it is hard to focus when you keep checking your inbox to see if you've heard from the publisher yet. :-)

It *is* scary to release your baby into the world and hope the other kids on the bus will be kind to it. ;-) But hey, at least you're not pulling teeth to get the words on paper. I think that's worse.

[amalthia]

Hugs.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Fabulous! Congratulations! \o/

And also /o\ and hugs for the feeling down part - I'm sure it's normal, like feeling depressed after giving birth, which is kind of what you've done. *hugs*

I love it already!

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

You know I'll love it, so there's one.

I know how you feel. Whenever I finish a big project - and for me they've only been fics because I'm not as brave as you - I always feel a little blue.

As writers we put so much of ourselves into what we write. It's hard sending it off, be it to a fic site or to a publisher. Because of course we love it and we have to hope that someone else will too.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the new novel, especially because I want to read it!:)

[anna-bird.livejournal.com]

Aw, sweetie. You sound like Sherlock Holmes after a case. Watch out for the insidious allure of the seven percent solution!

Congratulations again on getting it done and out, though, and I hope you've heard something by now! <3