I finished my new novel yesterday. I put in the last edits, made sure the title page had the right info on it, and sent that sucker off. Hopefully to engender a six-figure bidding war between famous publishers before it gets snapped up by Joss Whedon.
My immediate future. Of course.
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So, with the work finished and my wealth and fortune completely assured, you'd think that I'd be happy, wouldn't you? Well, so would I! Except for how I'm not.
Nope. Pretty much everything made me cry this morning. Nothing like trying to sing along to your MP3 player and getting choked up by songs that have nothing to do with your life.
The sad (sadder?) thing is, I know it's because the novel's finished. This has happened to me before. What should be an occasion for enthusiastic relief, or at least relief and alcohol, instead ends up giving me the blues for days. Because obviously, if I'm not working on something then I'm a useless human being, right? Not to mention that once the novel's been sent out into the big, bad world, there's a huge, enormous chance that no one will like it. And if no one likes my writing, then I'm a useless human being.
Wash, rinse, repeat ad nauseam.
So here I am, moping 'cause I've got something accomplished. Go, me. And now I get to add terror to misery by starting something else that maybe no one will like either.
Writing: It's not a job, it's a (completely self-imposed) torment! And yet I keep doing it anyway.
Isn't one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result?
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taste_is_sweet
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I love it already!
22/9/13 23:20 (UTC)I know how you feel. Whenever I finish a big project - and for me they've only been fics because I'm not as brave as you - I always feel a little blue.
As writers we put so much of ourselves into what we write. It's hard sending it off, be it to a fic site or to a publisher. Because of course we love it and we have to hope that someone else will too.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the new novel, especially because I want to read it!:)
Re: I love it already!
24/9/13 01:24 (UTC)Hey, a story is a story as far as I'm concerned. Fanfic just gets a quicker reply. :) But yeah, you're right. It does feel sad and scary to send off something that has so much of my heart in it.
Thank you for keeping your fingers crossed! I'll certainly let you know if there is good news.