The Internet: Way cooler than a trail of bodies.

[taste_is_sweet]

I love the interweebs, I do. Oh, I do, with the unbridled passion of a thousand fiery suns. What did I ever do without the internet besides probably being way more productive? I can't even remember; it's just that awesome.

This is also another glimpse into the occasionally bizarre machinations of my brain (though at least not as bizarre as it can occasionally get). Let me show you:

Last night, I read this article on Cracked.Com, which I highly recommend not actually visiting unless you don't mind losing hours of your life. Many, many hours.

This particular time warp in written form was a list (Cracked.com loves lists) of 6 superpowers that would actually suck to have. The most awful was a Wolverine-esque healing factor. The author posited that having a healing factor that would allow you to survive almost any wound wouldn't = 'awesome' so much as 'horrific PTSD'. Which gave me ideas.

Always dangerous.

This will doubtless amaze anyone who knows me, but I kind of have a thing for (fictional! Dear God, fictional!) emotional and physical H/C, something that has served me well in the past. So instead of going to sleep at you're-an-idiot o'clock in the morning I started thinking of a story plot involving some poor schmuck who could heal really fast and how psychologically godawful it was.

At first I thought this'd be fanfic, but I decided I couldn't be that horrible to Captain America (or John Sheppard again). Besides, everyone knows that when you hurt Steve Rogers a kitten dies.

Most Marvel Universe fanfiction is known as the Great AO3 Kitten Massacre.

With fanfiction obviously out, I figured I'd write something original that took place during WWII, with my own original superhero. Canadian, of course. Only I couldn't call him 'Captain Canuck' or 'Captain Canada', because that had a) been done and b) was kind of lame. And since our national animal is not only furry and adorable, but also regrettably associated with female anatomy, I couldn't use that, either. So I went to the web to see what other nicknames for Canadians I could use.

And here my adventures began.

As it turns out, 'Canuck' pretty much encompasses the entire gamut of Canadian nicknames. But at least my fruitless Googling turned up Johnny Canuck, a Canadian equivalent of Captain America who kicked Nazi ass during WW II. Even cooler, the Wikipedia article link I found said that a publishing house called Moonstone had started a new series starring Johnny Canuck and a bunch of other Canadian superheros.

Naturally I zapped over to Moonstone, and discovered that they were selling the first three issues ridiculously cheap, so I bought them. Then, wondering if there were any more, I clicked on the link for the artist and discovered that he's Canadian too, and also actually famous.

Sadly, it seems that Northern Guard is no more, probably because almost no one outside Canada had heard of them. Hell, I used to live in Canada and I hadn't heard of most of them, either. But Mr. Templeton did have this really awesome list of famous fictional Canadians that made me feel better.

So all in all, while my research was technically fruitless, I did get some new comic books out of it and more warm fuzzies about my homeland. Which we could use right now in Texas, being as we're at the ass-end of a major ice storm.

Of course, it's still colder in Canada. But they're used to it.

(The photos are 'Thinking Woman Looking Up' by David Castillo Dominici, and 'Sad Kitten' by Tina Phillps, via Free Digital Photos.net.)

Comments

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

Props for tha homeland lurve ;)

I noticed that Nelvana of the Northern Lights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelvana_of_the_Northern_Lights) wasn't on the Canadian superheroes list, and since some Canadians have decided to revive the series, she really should be. She predates Wonder Woman fer chrissakes!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Ty Templeton actually spoke about that in one of the comments to his list post. Apparently Moonstone wanted to use her, but they couldn't get the rights.

Oh, and to respond to what you actually wrote (sorry!), he said in the intro that he was listing fictional Canadians that people would know outside of Canada. YMMV on that, of course. I think that Nelvana is certainly no more obscure than the 1970s Captain Canada.

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

"Everyone knows that when you hurt Steve Rogers, a kitten dies."

"I can't hurt John Sheppardagain.


You are seriously KILLING ME here!

You need to write this. Yes, indeed.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

:D Maybe? BUT I CAN'T HURT TEH KITTEHS! THE KITTEHS!

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

My suggestion? My it original fic: write a story in which the hero is being tortured by fanfic writers and has to heal over and over again. He doesn't know WHY he keeps getting hurt, just that he does and in the most improbable fashion. Kill the kittens as well, but make it so they disappear into Schrodinger's box and at the end of the story, all the kittens are released back into the universe again so that you can have as a disclaimer "NO KITTENS WERE PERMANENTLY HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS STORY."

:-)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

That's...wonderfully insane. Kind of horrific, too. I mean, it's one thing to torture a character, another where they don't even know why. D: Poor hypothetical character!

I had indeed decided to make this original; I just wasn't sure of the setting for the plot, or the character's name. Hence all the Canuck stuff. ;)

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

What if it's an eeeevil kitten, have you thought about that?

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

LOL But it's so CUUUUUUUTE.

[mcparrot.livejournal.com]

>>some poor schmuck who could heal really fast and how psychologically godawful it was.<< Ummmm. Jack Harkness? It's been done. :( Sorry.

(In fact, I got rather good at it - venomous alien insect things (twice), burning in oil, alien mind probes that physically burrowed into his brain, and more... Yeah. It's been done.)

I'm with you on the whole, what the heck did I do pre internets thing though. I really can't remember. Although I think I read a lot more books.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know about Jack Harkness. I've watched all of Torchwood. :)

I know I read a lot more books, myself. Nowadays I read way more fanfic.