My suggestion? My it original fic: write a story in which the hero is being tortured by fanfic writers and has to heal over and over again. He doesn't know WHY he keeps getting hurt, just that he does and in the most improbable fashion. Kill the kittens as well, but make it so they disappear into Schrodinger's box and at the end of the story, all the kittens are released back into the universe again so that you can have as a disclaimer "NO KITTENS WERE PERMANENTLY HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS STORY."
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7/12/13 02:07 (UTC):-)