Well, damn it. I've wasted my life.

[taste_is_sweet]

I'm sure you've all heard of it by now: Dinosaur Erotica.

It's a rising market, apparently. I haven't bought any of the novels myself, though of course with all the hype surrounding them, the co-authors of such gems as Mating with the Raptor are likely millionaires. (According to the interview link above, they were already making more money than their engineer friends.)

I think my favorite part is that beautiful cover, though I wonder how the heroine found that outfit in pseudo-bronze age Europe.

So, I read that short interview and some of the other articles about these writers, and I got to thinking that they were on to something.

I checked out a whole half-page of the Mating with the Raptor novel on Amazon and, well, let me say I've read a lot worse. There's even the beginning of a plot, of sorts. The writing feels kind of phoned-in, but I'm sure that after 200 or so short fics about women in dub-con relationships with mythological and extinct animals, I'd be phoning it in too. I certainly have to admire their work ethic.

And my conclusion, of course, is that I should be doing that. Fuck my attempts at being a novelist! Fuck plot and original, sympathetic characters--just get to the fucking. With dinosaurs.

sgamadison had the great idea of purposely writing the worst story idea she could think of, and then seeing how well it sold. I think that's awesome! Who's with me? Let's hear those terrible plot ideas (don't forget the sex)! God knows after being a dinosaur's love slave there's not much lower you can go. Except maybe underwater.

Impregnated by the Ichthyosaur, anyone?

Comments

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

Wasn't fandom here first with tentacle!porn (and ohboy there's some of that on my "I wish I wrote that" list).

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I'm sure. But now you can get paid for it. O.o

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

Keep in mind if you set out to do this, you'll need another pen name. I was thinking of Frosty Flowers myself. Or if I wanted to be even cuter: Robin Banks. Shanda Lear. Something like that. :-)

Seriously. Tempted. Just once, I'd like to be the person laughing all the way to the bank...

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

I'll go you one better : Crystal Shanda Lear.

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's good! It even fits the trope with the triple named author!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Go for it! I think once or twice it'd be fun. After 200 times I'd probably want to shoot myself.

I'm afraid I don't get the pun with Robin Banks or Shanda Lear, but they sound good to me. :)

How about April Summers? Crystal Waters? Ruby Pinkwater?

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

Robin Banks = robbing banks

Shanda Lear = chandelier

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

::Facepalm:: Of course. Thanks. :)

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

A mate took great delight in linking me to a weepingcock review of one of those books. It's here (http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/799293.html).

Write a few man/car stories and your mates assume you might be up for writing this sort of thing... no.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Great icon.

Thank you for the link. I'm happy I can find out what the book is like without having to actually buy it. :)

You wrote man/car fics? Transformers or Top Gear? Or neither?

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

I'm a co-mod of The Professionals fandom Big Bang which is where that icon comes from. When I was struggling with my own Pros BB story my lovely mate Tog told me it needed more dinosaur and so an icon was born. *g*

Neither. Life on Mars. Gene/(Cor)Tina, Sam/(Cor)Tina, Annie/(Cor)Tina, Mobile phone/(Cor)Tina... well, the list goes on a bit. Cracky crack and quite fluffy, I'm told. *g*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Learn something new every day. ;) I love the idea of fluffy person/car fic.

Apropos of in-joke icons, I have one too! The kitten thing comes from a comment my sister made when she was reading either one of my fics or my first novel. Apparently what I'd written was distressing, along the line of murdering helpless kittens. So I made the icon. :D

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

It pairs up with this one. Pros has an inexplicable amount of elf fic. *g*

I have a long (bad) history of basically writing things on a dare. The Cortina had babies models which is where they fluffy came in.

Ah, that's interesting, because when I see that icon it makes me think of The Goodies and Kitten Kong...



Hey, it's an English thing. :D

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm Canadian! I freaking loved the Goodies back in the day! Did they predate Monty Python? Or just on the CBC?

Kitten Kong! Awesome. :D

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

My American mates have never seen The Goodies (until I force them to *g*) but they know Monty Python and it didn't occur to me that they'd have made the jump to Canada.

Monty Python pre-dates the Goodies by a couple of years I think but the Pythonites and the Goodies hung out together when they were all undergrads at Cambridge and in the Footlights together.

Some lovely nutters have been putting large chunks of the Goodies up on youtube, in some cases whole episodes.

A Goodies sketch that can make me laugh just be thinking about it is Gender Education:



That whole episode, Sex and Violence, was a really interesting response to Mary Whitehouse using them as an example of wholesome TV. *g*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reminding me about them. :D Boy that 70s British comedy was awesome.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

My favorite part of the cover is the way it appears to read, "Mating with Raptor the."

You should MAKE ALL THE MONEY with dinosaur erotica and laugh all the way to the bank. Really!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

LOL Yes, it really does. It just adds to the awesome.

God, I only wish I liked writing erotica enough to actually do that kind of thing. But I think the dino-porn market may be glutted. :)

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I'm still falling about laughing... and why has nobody thought of this before?

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I know! They're genii, aren't they? (Genuses? Genii? Really smart people anyway.) But yes, I have a feeling half the reasons people buy their books is because they're just so hilarious.

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

What does a dinosaur's penis look like? Does anyone really know?

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

There was some debate over at weepingcock about that very thing. The consensus was either a cloaca like most birds, or a penis with interior testicles like crocodiles. But everyone agreed that they wouldn't have a sac. :)

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

That this is A Thing To Discuss! Oh gods how I <3 such a community!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

The interweebs are such a great place. :D

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

I guess they may have had hemipenes, like some modern day reptiles ...

[sulien.livejournal.com]

Here from sgamadison's post.

Personally, I thought the bottom had been hit with the Twilight porn fic that had changed the names of the characters and been published ("Shades of Grey"), but I guess I was wrong. At this point, I honestly don't want to know where the 'bottom' is, I'm disgusted enough with 'people' in general as it is, not to mention the Yahoos in the publishing industry who cater to them.

Pardon the edit in attempt to fix coding.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I hear you. Not that I don't wish I'd thought of (and wanted to write) something Shades of Grey-esque and gotten rich and famous with it myself. Because I do. But I mostly wish that people wanted to read what I write just as much. Which they don't, alas.

Having read sgamadison's post myself now, I can definitely see where your disgust comes from. What is it with these publishers who immediately cave to complaints without even checking the info? I'm choosing to be optimistic and believe that this will blow over like the last time Amazon got a few complaints and freaked the fuck out. But man, it's infuriating.