Well, damn it. I've wasted my life.

[taste_is_sweet]

I'm sure you've all heard of it by now: Dinosaur Erotica.

It's a rising market, apparently. I haven't bought any of the novels myself, though of course with all the hype surrounding them, the co-authors of such gems as Mating with the Raptor are likely millionaires. (According to the interview link above, they were already making more money than their engineer friends.)

I think my favorite part is that beautiful cover, though I wonder how the heroine found that outfit in pseudo-bronze age Europe.

So, I read that short interview and some of the other articles about these writers, and I got to thinking that they were on to something.

I checked out a whole half-page of the Mating with the Raptor novel on Amazon and, well, let me say I've read a lot worse. There's even the beginning of a plot, of sorts. The writing feels kind of phoned-in, but I'm sure that after 200 or so short fics about women in dub-con relationships with mythological and extinct animals, I'd be phoning it in too. I certainly have to admire their work ethic.

And my conclusion, of course, is that I should be doing that. Fuck my attempts at being a novelist! Fuck plot and original, sympathetic characters--just get to the fucking. With dinosaurs.

sgamadison had the great idea of purposely writing the worst story idea she could think of, and then seeing how well it sold. I think that's awesome! Who's with me? Let's hear those terrible plot ideas (don't forget the sex)! God knows after being a dinosaur's love slave there's not much lower you can go. Except maybe underwater.

Impregnated by the Ichthyosaur, anyone?

Comments

[ride-4ever.livejournal.com]

Wasn't fandom here first with tentacle!porn (and ohboy there's some of that on my "I wish I wrote that" list).

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

Keep in mind if you set out to do this, you'll need another pen name. I was thinking of Frosty Flowers myself. Or if I wanted to be even cuter: Robin Banks. Shanda Lear. Something like that. :-)

Seriously. Tempted. Just once, I'd like to be the person laughing all the way to the bank...

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

A mate took great delight in linking me to a weepingcock review of one of those books. It's here (http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/799293.html).

Write a few man/car stories and your mates assume you might be up for writing this sort of thing... no.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

My favorite part of the cover is the way it appears to read, "Mating with Raptor the."

You should MAKE ALL THE MONEY with dinosaur erotica and laugh all the way to the bank. Really!

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I'm still falling about laughing... and why has nobody thought of this before?

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

What does a dinosaur's penis look like? Does anyone really know?

[sulien.livejournal.com]

Here from sgamadison's post.

Personally, I thought the bottom had been hit with the Twilight porn fic that had changed the names of the characters and been published ("Shades of Grey"), but I guess I was wrong. At this point, I honestly don't want to know where the 'bottom' is, I'm disgusted enough with 'people' in general as it is, not to mention the Yahoos in the publishing industry who cater to them.

Pardon the edit in attempt to fix coding.