A little vitriol for a Friday afternoon.

[taste_is_sweet]

Hello, my beauties, and Happy Friday! Monday the March Break officially begins and I will be going to Canada with my kid to visit the fam. It should be awesome.

While I readily admit that I, too, can be at times almost as awesome as a trip to Canada to visit the fam, I am, as I'm fairly sure you're aware, human and therefore extremely fallible. Occasionally more fallible than your average bear, so to speak. There have been times, I admit, when the only thing keeping my mouth shut or my fingers still is the fact that I don't like hurting peoples' feelings. I am a big adherent to the rule that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all (or just hit the back button). I've also gotten pretty good at keeping things to myself.

All that typed, between you and me there have been many, many times with I've just wished I could, for example, leave a comment on someone's fic or their post that completely represented what I was thinking. Now, I would never actually do that (see above). I'm not generally a mean person and life is too short not to be nice.

But. And I hope I'm not alone in this, but. That hasn't stopped me from compiling a list of things I could say, but have and will not. I've included it here, because I can.

I hope some of you might unleash your baser selves and contribute in the comments, bearing in mind that this is nothing but venting, not aimed at anyone. Just devilish self-indulgence that I won't partake in out loud again.

I just think that we're entitled to what we feel, and allowed to feel things even if they're bad. The point is not to inflict those feelings on anyone else. Which is why they're under a cut.

But if you'd like to join me, there's plenty of room on the dark side. And we have cookies.

• Thank you for reminding me why I hate this pairing.
• Thanks! I really appreciate being able to find out just how fast I can hit the back button!
• Yes, your story is just as terrible as you warned us it would be. Yes, you really shouldn't have posted it. Next time you should listen to yourself.
• If you don't know how to tag, why do you have so many tags?
• Just from reading this, I know you're way uglier than that person you're insulting.
• Your politics suck. Your values suck. Your education sucks. You suck too.
• I'm sorry, I'm not going to go along with your passive-aggressive ploy for attention.
• Actually, I'm really sorry you don't want to leave the group/archive/list/forum faster.
• Can I comment urging you not to update?
• I had no idea anyone could write something as excruciating as the last phone conversation I couldn't escape from.
• This is my favorite trope, my favorite fandom and my favorite characters. And yet you've managed to make it unreadable. Congratulations!
• You write really well. I just wish you ever wrote anything I wanted to read.

Thank you for your forbearance and understanding. Now I'm going to take a shower.

Comments

And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

- Please let me beta for you. Please. Just so I can clean up this mess...
- This story left me feeling sticky and used like that descrption of bodily fluids you used in the last chapter that activated my gag reflex
- Why didn't you warn for poop? I would've REALLY APPRECIATED THAT.
- Have you ever sex? No one's that good at everything imaginable the first fucking time...

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Hee! Yes. So many times I've wished I could beta someone's fic. Or just, you know, spell that one main character's name correctly.

I have to wonder about the age of some of the people writing sex scenes. There can't be any personal experience. There just can't.

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

Well, god knows, I haven't tried everything I've written about but I HAVE done some research beforehand. And sometimes common sense just has to kick in, ya know?

But yes, sometimes I wonder about people... *shifty eyes*

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

I purposely wrote a sex scene where it was the girl's first time but not the boy's, and so she was very awkward and worried about everything, and they didn't have a glorious, crashing orgasm at the same time. ::grins::

Although if I'd never had the personal experience and everything I knew came from romance novels (as was the case in my youth) I'm sure I'd write these things very differently.

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

*snickers* Yep, that's true ;) With age comes wisdom and orgasm knowledge

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

I do feel kind of cheated that I never experienced crashing waves of ecstasy. ::pouts::

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine anything worse than a sudden sense of vertigo during sex. Quite frankly, the cliff-diving descriptive scenarios always ring hollow to me. I read a medical article about the study of female orgasms and was shocked to discover how little I knew, and that the study participants' experiences varied so wildly. This idea that we all know what we're doing after a few tries, or even at the end of our sex lives, is total b.s. I felt so much better after reading it.

But the cliff-diving metaphors do not abate, apparently... *eyeroll*

Re: And now I'm worried about what people DON'T SAY...

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Hee! And, ew! I am very, very glad I haven't read a fic that missed that warning! Yuck!

I have been tempted to offer to beta many, many times. But ultimately I have too much of a sense of self-preservation.