I'd like to present the cover for my next bestseller

[taste_is_sweet]

Yesterday, as some of you may recall, I was lamenting my lack of foresight which prevented me from making millions with dinosaur erotica.

Well, no more, my friends! Here is the cover of my upcoming debut novel in the exciting and untapped genre of porn with ancient sea-reptiles. Naturally I had to find a new pen-name, to avoid any public ridicule when I eventually win the Nobel Prize for Literature.

I decided to emulate the artistry of the Christie Sims covers, because nothing says classy dino-porn like 10 minutes with Photoshop.

Leeoolaa, the great sorceress of her seafaring tribe, is determined to end the famine plaguing her people. She takes a raft and sets out alone on the ocean with one goal: to offer herself to the Old Man of the Sea--the Ichthyosaur--as a sacrifice to ensure the survival of her tribe.

Naked, provisionless save for her magic protective amulet and her determination, Leeoolaa expects to die. What she doesn't expect is that the Old Man of the Sea will accept her offer, but not as a sacrifice.

No. The Ichthyosaur wants Leeoolaa as his mate, and more: as the mother of a new tribe of half-men, half-Ichthyosaurs, who he will use to rule the ocean!

Now Leeoolaa has a to make a choice: stay as the Ichthyosaur's love-slave and brood mare, or return to her tribe and turn her back on the greatest watery ecstasy she's ever known?

Awesome, right? I can't wait to sit back and rake in the dough. Oh, and I'll totally make covers for anyone who wants to join me in my new, lucrative career of anachronistic, physiologically impossible porn. Just $5.00 each. Which is apparently market value for that level of artistry and talent.

(The pregnant woman and ocean background come from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net, and were taken by Paul Goody and foto76, respectively. I couldn't find the source for the Ichthyosaur.)

And I'm using this for the Difficult Pregnancy square of my hc_bingo card, for obvious reasons.

Comments

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

My new, lucrative career of anachronistic, physiologically impossible porn -- but I thought it was wrong to make money from fan fiction? Not what you're talking about? Oh, right.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

::Snort:: I'm afraid I don't write that kind of fanfiction. But it really does cover a lot of it, doesn't it? :)

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

♥ You even have the same, messed up preposition and article placement.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm even pretty sure I did that intentionally. :D

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I can die a happy woman now, my life is complete *g*

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

...Like the Sorceress said to the Ichthyosaur.

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

:D

[anna-bird.livejournal.com]

A+

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

What a riot--you're killing me here with this cover. WRITE IIIIIIIT! :-)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you. But I've got other, hopefully somewhat more meritous (if less lucrative) stuff to write first. But you actually made me start thinking of a plot, darn you.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Here from HC Bingo and applauding wildly.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for the visit and the applause. :D

[lunar47.livejournal.com]

OMG This is literally the best :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :D

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