Writing is awesome, except for how it sucks.

[taste_is_sweet]

Don't get me wrong--I love writing. Mostly. Black Hawk Tattoo (Woot; there it is) is now in it's second month of being available, and hasn't quite fallen off the face of the earth the sort-of reasonable rankings on Amazon.com, but I figure it's going to happen any second pretty soon, so I'm trying to prepare myself for it. One of the ways I'm doing that is by more writing, because the more books you have, the more books people might buy from you, yo. The other way is to try not to worry about it (because I'm so good at not worrying).

What I've come to realize about this writing gig is that even when you succeed, there's anxiety. The difference is that now I'm worried about my next novel. Will anyone want to publish it? Will anyone want to buy it if it's published? Will anyone like it if they buy it? And how long will it stay anywhere reasonable on the Amazon rankings?

Yep. Yet more fun and excitement for me! And to think I actually somehow didn't anticipate this happening. Yeah, I'm awesome.

I do realize that in the grand scheme of things I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I know I've done well and I'm lucky and I'm definitely happy with and grateful for what I've accomplished. I'd just love to be able to relax, you know? Just a little. Slightly. Sometimes.

Comments

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

I had to snort at this because, yes. I had a little backlog of stories to submit, and so I had a bunch of releases in a short period of time. Then all the sudden I sat back and realized I was publishing *stories*. I began reading books on writing--which told me I was doing everything *wrong*. I began to push myself to write more to put more stories in the pipeline because I figured out that in order to even remotely count on writing to pay the bills, I had to submit at least a story a quarter to expect any returns: it takes about a year from conception to execution to submission to printing to royalties.

And all of the sudden, the person who has essentially written a novella a month for the last five years found my creativity taking a hit under the pressure.

So my advice? Write for fun, write what you want to write, write what makes you happy. Read books and take classes if they help; ignore their advice if they don't. Don't worry about whether or not it sells. The stories people seem to like the most are the ones I toss in every improbable trope *because it makes me happy* The serious story that was my attempt at writing something 'worthwhile'? Has been languishing on the hard drive for over a year.

Of course, take this advice with a grain of salt too. I work full time/long hours. Sometimes there's very little creativity left at the end of the day, but it does seem the more pressure I put on myself, the less productive I become. ;-)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Hey, all of that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. :)

I hear you about writing for fun--I've tried to write stuff that I didn't want to, but I could barely start it, let alone finish it. No emo teenage vampires with zombie-boyfriends for me, unfortunately.

It's hard not to worry about it selling, though. I just have to keep remembering to drag my mind back to the process, and not the product. It works most of the time. :)

[amalthia]

Nothing wrong with wanting to relax a bit. :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Heh. :) I agree!

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

ugh, I am one insecure mess when it comes to writing, so I imagine that will never go away for ME, but what I want more than anything right now? Is time and energy to write! D: I have all my ideas swirling in my head, but either I'm at work, in class, doing homework for class, other family obligations/errands or too tired to function (like now) so I can only graze on the internet! :-p

As for yours, I'd take some of the other advice here and write for you, enjoy the process, love your story. If you love it, then chances are, some others will, too!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) I do try to write for me--I just need to remember not to worry about other people liking it too.

I know how very, very fortunate I am that I can devote my time to writing. I hope that you can get more rest so you can write all the ideas in your head. ♥

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm hoping, although there is no rest in sight until the summer, at least for a few weeks (considering I still have to take another class in the summer AND move, *sigh*) Somehow I have to get better at micro-writing (getting in 15 furious minutes a day or something? I wonder if anyone around here has experience with being successful in writing when you don't have a few juicy hours to get into your scene....

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I know of people who can, but I'm afraid I'm not one of them. I'm very happy (and lucky, if I haven't said so enough yet) that I can spend the whole day on writing one scene if I need to. Especially as I need to spend the whole day on a scene all the time...

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I've got a horrid feeling that the anxiety thing is part of being a writer... You're doomed! *g*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

But what would you do if you didn't have something to worry about? At least worrying about your next book is safe, because it implies there will be a next book (and a next, and a next...)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

True. All true! I'd probably freak out if I wasn't worry about something...

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

the more I learn about creative process (published authors or not, or visual artists), the more that baseline worry seems common to everyone. I think the key is not letting it become crippling.

you are doing great! I wish success follows all of your creations :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :D And I think you're right, too--worrying seems to be the norm. Luckily it hasn't stopped me from writing so far. Hopefully it won't.