How 'bout you just call him 'Poopsie-Kins' in private, Private?

[taste_is_sweet]

What is this thing with fanfiction and nicknames?

Am I the only one who's noticed this? There seems to be a particular sub-genre of romantic fanfiction (I'd say especially among the Slash writers, but I honestly don't read enough Het to know) where the ones in lurve give each other unbearably cutesy and generally humiliating nicknames that they then proceed to use casually all over the place.

I don't know about you, but if someone started calling me after a cartoon character I'd probably be pissed rather than charmed. And if they then proceeded to call me by that nickname in front of, say, the chief Muckity-Muck I nominally report to, I might consider ending the relationship. At least if it wasn't an accident.

My own mother's done this, actually. I've had a family nickname that she gave me when I was a baby which she has never, ever stopped using. I'm actually very fond of it and most of the time find it really sweet. Except for the one time my then-boyfriend heard her using it with me and started using it himself. That wasn't sweet; that actually kind of freaked me the fuck out. It's possible that I would have felt differently at the time if I hadn't already decided at least subconsciously that I had to deep-six the guy sooner rather than later, but even now when I think of my (very) adored husband using my mother's nickname it still makes me shudder rather than smile. So it's very hard to imagine two other adults being willing to hear endearment nicknames in public, even if they're fictional adults.

This makes me think I should apologize in advance to my son, whom I've been calling 'Pumpkin' since I stopped calling him 'Piglet' (he was a big nurser) or 'Mummified Alien Baby' (he was very skinny when he was born, and had a habit of leaving one eye cracked open when he was falling asleep. I swear he looked like a relic from Area 51). This name is so much a part of how I think of him that I've had a pumpkin tattooed on my arm, and I'm sure I use it with him in public all the time. Right now it makes him happy, but I have a feeling that he won't be so thrilled when he's brought his date home for the weekend and I say something like, 'so where did you and my little Pumpkin meet?' at the dinner table. Of course I will probably still be calling him 'Baby' when he's 45, so maybe he'll just get used to it.

But art shouldn't necessarily imitate life. And, in my fandom at the very least, it seems highly unlikely that a well-trained, disciplined and battle-hardened Marine would refer to his lover with a saccharine nickname in front of anyone else. Or even give his lover a saccharine nickname at all, honestly.

"Snookums! I'm running out of ammo!" Can you imagine?

Comments

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

... Now I have this scene in my head where one of the pair think the other one's just fallen off a cliff or something, and falls to his/her knees on the rocky ground with a heart-rending cry of, "Studmuffiiiiiiiiiin!"

*sniggers*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

LOL

"POOOOOPSIEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOO!"

"Suck it up, Pooh. Poopsie's gone!"

The possibilities are endless....

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, your icon! *dies*

Also, hahaha, can you imagine the eulogies?

"Pooky-bear was not only one of the best and wisest men I've ever known, he was also the bravest. I will never... never forget his sweet little face when... when he shot Kolya in the... Oh god, I can't do this! I can't! Pooky's gone! *the saddest face*"

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I'm almost laughing too hard to type.

I dare you to write that into a fic. Actually, I'll beg. :D

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Hee! That might be just a bit too cracky for me.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

::Big Puppy Eyes::

Please, Snookums?

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

OMG, you two broke me! And totally took the words right out of my mouth: "Sweetie-pie, I told you to pack extra rounds but do you ever listen? No, you don't, Sweetums, so now we're royally screwed."

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Hee hee hee hee! That is awesome.

"The Wraith took Sweetums! the Wraith took Sweetums!"

"Who?"

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

"Look, Pookie, there's no reason to be jealous, Snookums is just a little stressed his Sweetie-pie was taken."

*dies*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

"He's curled up in a fetal position in the Gate room...."

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

...clutching his teddy bear, just like the readers.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

::snort::

[ribbon-purple.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe. Oh dear god, I think calls for a crack fic fest. We haven't had one in awhile anyway.

I will totally co-mod if you'll organize it with me, ♥Schmooky Bear♥. ::bats eyelashes at you::

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

...Don't you have writing to do? ::g::

The Tragic CrackFic Fest--How Low Can You Go?

It'd be awesome, actually, but there's the sga_santa and a certain novel.... :)

Hey, are you online right now? I'd love your opinion....

[ribbon-purple.livejournal.com]

But...but...but..Mushy Bear? :o(

It would be fun but alas, you are right - as usual.

And yes, I'm online.

[danceswithgary]

You did make me giggle with this, Sweetie Pie. :-P

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Pookie-Poo!

[squeakyoflight.livejournal.com]

This was a great post! And I totally agree that grown men shouldn't call each other by ookie-sweet nick-names *ever* let alone in private.

However, Smurfy, I agree with Ribbon-Purple that you must make this tragic crack fest happen! I vote for January, which is a pretty tragic month, really.

I loves ya, you little blue babe!

Squeaky

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Squeaks. :)

I will definitely consider doing some kind of Crack Fic Fest in January. ::firm nod::

What is it?

[(Anonymous)]

I think I'm gonna have to give your mother a call . . . :)