taste_is_sweet: (Coffee Hearts)
[personal profile] taste_is_sweet
Something happened last night that ended up getting me pretty angry. I'd love to go into details, but I won't because I don't think it's fair to copy my comment here. But this much I can say.

You guys are Awesome. I mean that. I was thinking last night and this morning about what you've all been through in your lives, both past and present, and the list I came up with was staggering:

--Crippling depression
--Rape
--Chronic (and possibly life-threatening) illness
--Immediately Life-threatening illness
--Child abuse
--Life-threatening violent crime
--Being a single mother trying to make ends meet
--Soul-eroding jobs
--Crushing disappointment
--Deaths in the family
--Addiction
--Disability

And I'm sure there's stuff I've missed, or don't even know about.

But it's not that you've all suffered, or are suffering, or have had to deal or are dealing with real hardships that is the point here. The point is that you guys are survivors. You've survived and you're still surviving and doing things to help yourselves and help others. Even if it's taken months or years, none of you have let anything bring you so down you couldn't get up again. None of you have given up. You're all still here and fighting, sometimes struggling, every single damn day to get better and do better and feel better and get your lives to where you want them to be.

And that is just fucking amazing. Bless you all. Seriously. I'm so glad to be in your company.

(no subject)

1/3/09 05:54 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] desert-rose.livejournal.com
I hope you're doing ok after Thursday night. I am still feeling very unsettled, sick and hurt. Friendships can be so fragile, and I feel as though all I'm doing lately is causing problems.


I hope you are having a relaxing weekend!

(no subject)

1/3/09 20:26 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
I'm fine, thank you. I was very annoyed--you read the comment--and then Bia responded with something rambling and nasty and almost incoherent, with the misleading title of 'just to clear the air' and the gist--apparently--that she has the right to abuse herself without anyone doing anything about it so leave her the fuck alone, and she won't apologize or be fawningly remorseful for the misleading post, or be fawningly grateful for what we did because we only did it to make ourselves feel good (and possibly to make her feel bad, though I wasn't sure about that part). There was other stuff about how I didn't know her or Ciro so...something, but I have to admit I didn't really read all of it too closely. It was kind of long and boring and repetitive. (Once more with feeling! Heh.)

I responded (paraphrasing a bit because I don't remember exactly what I wrote) by saying that we did it for her, not us, and that we weren't expecting gratitude (though a little less bitchyness would have been nice), but if she was too far gone to recognize that then there was obviously no point in trying to make her see logic or reason. I also mentioned that she had as much right to bitch and moan and abuse herself as much as she wanted, but she didn't have the right to inflict it on others the way she had done with the fake suicide note and then with her reaction. I also said that she could make the choice to continue this way if she wanted, but I wasn't going to be part of it anymore. And then I defriended her, which I think you should do as well if you haven't. Bia is a very disturbed person, but not in a mindset where there's even any hope of saving her from herself. She doesn't want to change, just to attack people who dare to show her that she's worth something. This is not someone who deserves your time or energy, and she certainly doesn't deserve to have you beating yourself up over this when you did something good and noble and honourable and kind. You didn't cause any problems here. Bia did with her totally uncalled for and basically insane reaction. (Jacques told her point blank that you were feeling vulnerable lately and that she should leave you alone, and she couldn't eve leave aside her own selfish childishness long enough to do that.) I can understand you being hurt--what she did was incredibly hurtful--but you should never feel that you cause problems. Jesus, I can't think of anything further from the truth.

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