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Sink Your Teeth Right Through My Bones, Baby
let's see what we can do
(Reply)
(no subject)
16/5/11 02:00 (UTC)
Posted by
taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
I wouldn't say that tense flipping is one of your problems. And I would definitely say that you don't have many. (Hey, I bid on fic from you. :D)
I know someone else already responded to your feeling something was wrong with the sentence. Personally, I think it just needs a period:
He'd had enough. Reaching back to the table, he picked up the cup.
Because his having enough and getting the cup are two different actions. :)
Can I read that story? I want to know who's had enough and what they're drinking. :D
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(no subject)
16/5/11 02:00 (UTC)I know someone else already responded to your feeling something was wrong with the sentence. Personally, I think it just needs a period:
He'd had enough. Reaching back to the table, he picked up the cup.
Because his having enough and getting the cup are two different actions. :)
Can I read that story? I want to know who's had enough and what they're drinking. :D