I put in the 'beatings will continue' line for you, actually. It seemed appropriate and I thought it might make you smile, since you'd reminded me of it most recently.
I can change the banging and the other stuff--I seem to like putting in description at the wrong moment, but I wanted to show what Elise was taking in as she went into the alley, because I didn't think she'd be able to see it earlier. And yes, the kids looked young because of their body shape, but I can change that too.
Ash was lying on his stomach, with his wings stretched out to either side. If I make this into something else I'll try to be clearer on that.
I had no idea 'Ash' had been used in Anita Blake novels. I've just always liked the name Asher. I guess I'll change it to Luke.
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23/2/09 19:24 (UTC)I put in the 'beatings will continue' line for you, actually. It seemed appropriate and I thought it might make you smile, since you'd reminded me of it most recently.
I can change the banging and the other stuff--I seem to like putting in description at the wrong moment, but I wanted to show what Elise was taking in as she went into the alley, because I didn't think she'd be able to see it earlier. And yes, the kids looked young because of their body shape, but I can change that too.
Ash was lying on his stomach, with his wings stretched out to either side. If I make this into something else I'll try to be clearer on that.
I had no idea 'Ash' had been used in Anita Blake novels. I've just always liked the name Asher. I guess I'll change it to Luke.
Thank you again.