Writing is awesome, except for how it sucks.

[taste_is_sweet]

Don't get me wrong--I love writing. Mostly. Black Hawk Tattoo (Woot; there it is) is now in it's second month of being available, and hasn't quite fallen off the face of the earth the sort-of reasonable rankings on Amazon.com, but I figure it's going to happen any second pretty soon, so I'm trying to prepare myself for it. One of the ways I'm doing that is by more writing, because the more books you have, the more books people might buy from you, yo. The other way is to try not to worry about it (because I'm so good at not worrying).

What I've come to realize about this writing gig is that even when you succeed, there's anxiety. The difference is that now I'm worried about my next novel. Will anyone want to publish it? Will anyone want to buy it if it's published? Will anyone like it if they buy it? And how long will it stay anywhere reasonable on the Amazon rankings?

Yep. Yet more fun and excitement for me! And to think I actually somehow didn't anticipate this happening. Yeah, I'm awesome.

I do realize that in the grand scheme of things I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I know I've done well and I'm lucky and I'm definitely happy with and grateful for what I've accomplished. I'd just love to be able to relax, you know? Just a little. Slightly. Sometimes.

Comments

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

the more I learn about creative process (published authors or not, or visual artists), the more that baseline worry seems common to everyone. I think the key is not letting it become crippling.

you are doing great! I wish success follows all of your creations :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :D And I think you're right, too--worrying seems to be the norm. Luckily it hasn't stopped me from writing so far. Hopefully it won't.