Put a Little 'Like' in Their Hearts

[taste_is_sweet]

One of the many, many things I love about being a parent is all the ways my kid surprises me. I mean, I like to think I know him pretty well by now, but he still amazes me all the time. Especially when he gives me an opportunity to look at something in a way I'd never thought of before.

Monday during dinner, he sat down at the table and gave a big, heartfelt sigh. Naturally my first thought was that he had a problem with the food (not uncommon, alas). But when I asked him it turned out he was thinking about a YouTube video he watched part of before dinner.

Apparently the video--which was about the Minecraft computer game--had a title in English but soundtrack entirely in Russian. Javier had read some of the comments, and he was upset for the vidders because so many people had said rude, hateful things to them over the language.

This is exactly what they look like.

We discussed the concept of 'Trolls' on the internet. He'd learned about it in the context of 'pranking' from other videos, but not as referring to someone who purposely writes hurtful posts or comments just to upset people.

He didn't get why anyone would want to do that. He also didn't understand how people could watch videos on YouTube and then 'dislike' them with the thumbs-down button. Then he told me that he always clicks on the 'like' button before he watches a video. If he ends up not liking the video he just goes to something else.

And I looked at my amazing, generous sweetheart of an 8 year-old kid and I have to admit I got a little teary. Because he clicks 'like' to acknowledge people's effort, and thank them just for wanting to share. And I swear to God that never, ever, even occurred to me.

Sure, I have my own philosophy that if I read an entire fanfic story I give the author a 'kudo' or comment. And sure, I have to basically dislike a story enough to stop reading it before I won't do that. But to just thank something for writing a fic in the first place? No way.

It's because I'm an author myself, and I know from both fandom and the professional book industry that in real life, no one is going to reward you for something just because you went to the effort of making it. It's all about putting your stuff out there and hoping to hell you'll either get a positive response or hoping to hell you're thick-skinned enough not to care.

I'm never thick-skinned enough not to care, but that's my problem. And the last thing I would ever want is for someone to leave a comment, or kudos, or even pay me money as a 'thanks for coming out' consolation prize.

And yet.

Somewhere along the line, among the millions of pieces of fanficton and art and videos and published stuff, I forgot that someone actually went to the trouble of making it in the first place. Maybe not for me specifically, but for the joy of creating something and sharing it, in the hope that others would enjoy it too.

Just because the ability to create is so easy these days doesn't make the act of creating itself any less meaningful, or any less worthy of acknowledgement. Jav may not always like what his parents make for dinner, but I make sure that he thanks us anyway, because we went to the trouble of doing it. And gratitude is never a bad thing.

It's humbling that my son was the one to remind me of that. I hope I don't forget it again.



The illustration is by Rien Poortvliet

Comments

[popkin16]

You've got a fantastic kid :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I've always thought so. :D

[pyewacketsid.livejournal.com]

What an awesome kid!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you! He impresses me so much all the time!

[danceswithgary]

What a thoughtful, lovely child you've raised. :-D

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :D I just feel blessed to have him in my life.

[sgamadison.livejournal.com]

*beams*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

:D

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Your kid is awesome! That's a great way to approach life and I hope he keeps it up.

I think part of the problem these days is just that there's SO MUCH out there. I can buzz through a lot of fics in one day and generally only leave comments on the ones that really moved me in some way. But as I know from first hand experience, the art of creating a fic is not always an easy one. Who knows how hard someone has labored over a fic of any length?

Perhaps I need to make a better effort to leave love. Thanks, Jav!

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Bru! Personally, I think if you leave kudos it's enough of a sign that you enjoyed something--though I do love getting comments too (and yours are always so thoughtful and lovely!).

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to leave more comments, in addition to kudos. Believe me, I know how awesome it is to receive them, and how frustrating to not.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

That really is incredibly kind of you. <3

LIKE WRITING ME BIRTHDAY FIC! \o/

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Surprise!! ::grins::

[alisanne.livejournal.com]

Your kid is awesome. :)
You're doing a fabulous job with him.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I certainly think he's awesome. :D

I'm thrilled at the idea that I may have helped him become such a wonderful person. God knows I try. :)

[amalthia]

I feel humbled reading your son's motto for leaving feedback too. I know I appreciate everyone's efforts but I don't always show it. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment. :D That's exactly how I felt, too. I've been trying to make sure that I show enough appreciation.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Kids are amazing - you've got such a great son - I love the idea of saying thank you for just making the effort.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

They are, and he is! Thank you. :D And yeah, it was really good to be reminded that making an effort--and wanting to make an effort--is also something worthwhile and laudable.

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

Hurray for Javvy!
He had to learn to be a great person from somewhere (holds up mirror for you).

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :D

I just feel blessed to have him in my life. I'm thrilled to think that I've been able to help him become this awesome person he is. :)

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

Lovely kid!

I can only imagine how shocking internet troll comments must be to a child who discovers them for the first time. They still shock and dismay me (I have mine set to not show comments unless you specifically click something)...

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Some internet comments shock and dismay me too! They're just so horrible and mean. I almost never look at public comments, unless I prepare myself beforehand that some of them may be absolutely awful.

[umadoshi.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's awesome! ^_^

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

How do I leave kudos for your son? Lots of them. ♥

I'm certain the manner system used to work much better when there weren't so many opportunities to be rude anonymously.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I told him you wanted to leave him kudos, and you make him smile. :D

One of the worst things about the internet is the anonymity. People feel it's fine to say things to strangers they'd never say to someone's face. It's so sad that they don't remember how they'd feel if it happened to them.

[blythechild.livejournal.com]

I love that your son rewards strangers for creative effort. That wouldn't have occurred to me either, but I blame years creative criticism and a little internet pessimism for that.

While it is easier than ever to display creativity, I maintain that creativity itself is still hard as hell. Every story I write, every drawing I make is a pint of my blood and I can't imagine that ever changing. But mass consumption trivializes that effort. People can blow through something that took you six months to create in a few hours and then leave a comment like 'moar plz?', as if you could just whip up a sequel while on the toilet or something. I kudo and comment on stuff that really moves me, but I leave my digital 'hit' as a recognition of effort. And I never, ever troll. If I don't like something I just move on. Maybe if more people were like your son, we'd all feel the freedom to stretch and put ourselves out there...

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I wish more people were like my son, too. :) I still worry every time I see a new comment that it might be a troll...

I always leave kudos as a recognition of effort--unless, as I said, I can't manage to finish the fic. At least for me, if I see hits but no kudos, all I can imagine is scores of people reading the summary or the first few paragraphs and then backspacing. But maybe your way of looking at it is a lot more common than mine?

[selenic76.livejournal.com]

That was amazing, and eye-opening. You have such a wonderful child, and I hope he never looses that outlook on things. He deserves kudos and a like and a 'two thumbs up' and if he's up for it even a hug for just being himself :) And so do you, as a parent *hugs* The world needs more people like you two ^_^

(edit: hope you don't mind me sharing a link to this, I will remove it if you wish)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I don't mind at all! I'm flattered, as a matter of fact. :D Thank you for wanting to share!

Thank you for your lovely comment as well, especially your compliment for my kid. :D He is amazing and I'm so thankful he's in my life. I hope he always stays that sweet and generous, too. I'm incredibly happy that his daddy and I have helped him become this wonderful person he is. We're just lucky to have him.

I did hug him, and he was all smiles when I read him your comment. So thank you again.

[selenic76.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm happy he liked my comment, and even the hug ^_^ Tell him hello from Finland! *waves*

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

I will! Thank you. :D

Had to share this...

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

User selenic76 referenced to your post from Had to share this... (http://selenic76.livejournal.com/36894.html) saying: [...] This post, Put a Little 'Like' in Their Hearts [...]

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

Here via sgamadison and I just wanted to come and tell you what a fantastic son you have :) You're raising a very lovely young man :)

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I appreciate you dropping by. :D

[that-which.livejournal.com]

Aw. Good for him.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :D

[kdvb1.livejournal.com]

Wow...your son is a very special person and has a very special heart! That is so sweet of him to think that way. <3 You've obviously done a great job raising him too. :-)

*LIKE* There...a like for you because you shared this wonderful story to remind us of how things should be.

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I think he's amazing, of course. :D And I try to be the excellent mom he deserves. The days when he tells me things like this, I feel like I might be managing it.

Your *LIKE* made me grin. Thank you. :D

My heart is now full of 'like'

[(Anonymous)]

Awesome and thought-provoking.

Good on Jav for being so kind. :)

xox from his apy Squeaky

Re: My heart is now full of 'like'

[taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He loves his Apy too. :D