taste_is_sweet: (Carry This Weight)
[personal profile] taste_is_sweet
My son is supposed to be starting kindergarten in August at the local school. I realize this isn't such a big deal--my child is hardly the first five year-old to do this--but I get anxious if I don't feel like I know exactly what I should be doing, especially when someone is depending on me. And even though the stupid school is within walking distance of my house, I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do.

Apparently the registration will be some time in May, but there's no info on that yet. There is also a special bilingual Spanish/English kindergarten I'd like to get my son into, but I have no idea about that, either. Apparently I need to do something to get his language abilities appraised, but I don't know how to do that, either. The website for the school board is about as unintuitive for me as a grad-level physics class, and the pages for the local school aren't any better. And all I was able to find out when I called the school was that I needed to keep checking the website.

So I've contacted a friend of mine who will also be sending her child to the same kindergarten and who is the one who told me about the bilingual classes in the first place. She always knows what to do for things like this, or the magic words or links to use to get the information if she doesn't. I don't know why she's so much better at these things than I am, but she is. At least she can help me. I hope.

Meanwhile, I'm so upset about my inability to find out this simple information that everyone should be able to know that I'm sitting here in tears. My son needs me to know this stuff and I don't know anything. I'm meant to be an adult but I can't even navigate the fucking local school board. And there are so many things I could have enrolled him in but I haven't--sports clubs, sports lessons, extra-curricular activities--and one of the big reasons I haven't is because it scares me. I'd have to get him there and I don't drive. I'd have to deal with all the other suburban parents who always seem to know what the hell they're doing when I feel like I never do. I don't really want to be a soccer or softball or whatever mom, but meanwhile Jav isn't getting to play in a team sport. At least we'll get him swimming lessons once the pools open. I suppose that's something.

Sometimes I really wish I just had someone who would always be able to tell me what to do. Mostly I just wish I was better. At everything.
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