taste_is_sweet: (What?)
[personal profile] taste_is_sweet
As you all know, I had a new fantasy book out in November. I posted about it here, with a lovely cover image and the book description. Please do take a moment to check it out if you haven't seen it yet, just because the rest of this will be more relevant if you do. And probably funnier. :) I'll wait.

So far, I've had some terrific reviews and ratings on Goodreads.com, and two excellent reviews on Amazon.com. And then I got these:

From Goodreads: Okaaaaayyyyyyy so this book was literally everything I didn't expect and never wanted. The entire plot was very nice and the budding romance was beautiful. The instant it started I was like "Ah yes a Beauty and the Beast type of thing...they'll have something going beforehand, but once he changes back....ooooo boy" NOPE. HE JACKED OFF LIZARD DICK, I'm literally having a fit. Then when he changed, it was STILL LIZARD DICK - JUST A DIFFERENT COLOR. aasjhdgfjsahgfjkhsdjkf

My point is - is that this book is geared toward a very specific community of people. Do you like werewolves, dragons, and humans with no sexual boundaries whatsoever? This book is for you.

I really wished that this book was toned down for a more general MM audience, because I literally cannot get over the fact that the MC just jacked off a lizard.
(Two stars.)

And from Amazon: It isn't the best book in the world but it isn't the worst either ... beI was looking for a Harry Potter with a gay characters -ish kinda book and sadly this isn't it. But really good time killer .. (Two stars.)

Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that everyone is absolutely allowed to have their own opinion. Not everyone is going to love what I write, and getting bitchy about someone else's likes and dislikes is childish and unfair. That said, what the hell books were these people reading?

I mean, did reviewer #1 see the book cover? Did they read any of the character descriptions? Nowhere did I say that Five was actually a lizard. Yes, it was speculated that he was half human and half wyvern (which is like a dragon), but not with any real seriousness. And this is also a world where it's common for people to be mixes of all kinds of things. Five looked like a regular person, except for certain characteristics. And in this world that's an everyday thing. The abnormal part was that no one knew Five's history, including his parentage. Not that he wasn't fully one thing or the other.

And he wasn't a lizard. Really. Not even half a lizard. He did not have a lizard dick. He had a dick. A rather nice one. I wonder if this person would have problems with vampire dicks too?

And reviewer #2: Did they even read the blurb? What about Tarquin being Mage of the Realm said 'HP fanfiction' to them? I'm glad they found the novel mildly amusing anyway, but seriously, what made them think that was what I'd written?

But hey, if you want a Harry Potter knockoff with no lizard dick, don't read Blood for Magic. Apparently. You have been warned.

(no subject)

7/1/16 22:45 (UTC)
ext_2160: SGA John & Rodney (Default)
Posted by [identity profile] winter-elf.livejournal.com
LOL! *moves book up in my 'to read' list* Looking forward to the lizard dick :P

pretty funny, and yea, it could be something in the description that stuck in their minds and didn't make sense. And boy, they must really HATE shapeshifter books - but for me - hey, bring it on! I LOVE them shifty boys!

(no subject)

15/1/16 21:47 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
Thank you! I hope you won't be terribly disappointed!

Yeah, I suppose shapeshifters are REALLY not their thing, unless the shifter only has relations of any kind as a human, maybe. Weird.

I love shifters too! Though Blood for Magic really only has one actual shifter in it, and he's not a main character. And that one would have a wolf dick, anyway. Heh.

(no subject)

7/1/16 23:06 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ride-4ever.livejournal.com
Ridiculous reviewers being ridiculous!

*hugs and pets your OC's*

(no subject)

15/1/16 21:48 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love your icon! Definitely a good thing to keep in mind. :D

My OCs are enjoying the hugs and pets too. :D

(no subject)

7/1/16 23:33 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sgamadison.livejournal.com
Oh dear, I had to laugh even as I cringed--in part because now I picture this disembodied Lizard Dick floating around and receiving pleasure. I always say if you're not getting at least a couple of ridiculously trolling reviews, not enough people are reading your story.

I have a story that by far and large has received positive reviews, but some troll one-starred it and left a gif-ridden review on Goodreads full of exploding birds and crying babies. The tags were brilliant, including #i will never read this author again and #books everyone else loved that I hated. It was *such* a nasty review, I had to wonder at someone going to the effort to post it.

I do think that in some ways, fanfiction, with the ability to titrate down to a reader's specific desires and kinks, has in some ways made things tougher for original fiction. Expecting something more like HP and being disappointed it was not is a prime example. These low ball reviews are definitely outliers though, so take encouragement in that!
Edited 7/1/16 23:34 (UTC)

(no subject)

15/1/16 21:57 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
Thank you! I appreciate both the commiseration and encouragement! I'm glad I have yet to receive a review with gifs of exploding birds, but I love your attitude about them. I also think your insight is brilliant--it is so easy to find the exact kind of story you want in fanfic that it makes sense that original works might be almost automatically disappointing. I just wish I had more good reviews to go with the bad ones!

(no subject)

15/1/16 23:35 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sgamadison.livejournal.com
Sadly, it doesn't matter how many outstanding reviews you get, it's mostly the bad ones you remember. ;-)

(no subject)

26/1/16 21:32 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
Absolutely true, and unfortunately so.

(no subject)

8/1/16 08:46 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] hyperfocused.livejournal.com
Damn it, now i want the erotic adventures of Tyranassaurus Sex: Lizard Dick. Get on that, will you? (Actually, i'm enjoying the heck out of the real book)

(no subject)

15/1/16 21:57 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taste-is-sweet.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! That is a great title, too. :D


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